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<title>all but washed (in the tide of his breathing) by bluebismuth</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141650">all but washed (in the tide of his breathing)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebismuth/pseuds/bluebismuth'>bluebismuth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jonelias Week Prompts [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Beholding Angel Jon, Collars, M/M, Religious Imagery &amp; Symbolism, Worship, post-160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:48:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebismuth/pseuds/bluebismuth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Angel takes a moment to reflect on His new servant.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elias Bouchard/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jonelias Week Prompts [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Jonelias Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all but washed (in the tide of his breathing)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>day 4 fill for jonelias week! (statements + religious themes)</p>
<p>this is meant to be a continuation of my explicit fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24172720">right and merciful,</a> and though it's not super necessary that you read that first, you'll get some more context for certain details in this fic</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elias hears the distinctive <i>click</i> of a tape recorder as he closes his eyes. He hasn’t heard it in so long—although, he isn’t sure how much time has passed in the first place—and it makes him feel...at peace. Of course, it’s not for his comfort: rather, he Knows it means The Angel is going to speak. Elias is proud of what Jon has become; a holy figure meant to be feared, worshipped, revered. Elias can’t think of doing anything less for Him.</p>
<p>He feels a hand on his back, resting over one of the many eyes that have been burned into his skin. It hurts, but Elias can’t imagine moving away from His touch for such a small reason. It is something to be craved and desired, to be cherished when you are lucky enough to receive it. Elias can feel himself melting into The Angel’s touch as He traces a finger over the eye’s lines.</p>
<p><i>Statement of The Angel, regarding His servant.</i> Elias sighs, the rich, honey-sweet voice filling his ears and clouding what little thoughts he had left. There was only Him now. He can’t even focus on the fact that He’s talking about <i>him,</i> of all the things He now rules over. Even if The Angel never spared him another thought, Elias Knows it is an honor to serve Him.</p>
<p>His hand shifts to clasp Elias’s collar, and he shudders. Still, he does not interrupt The Angel’s statement, would never dream of doing such a thing.</p>
<p>
  <i>Your devotion is something no true human could possess, servant. When you came to the Beholding centuries ago, I could not have imagined you would go as far as this. You have done everything in your power to serve it.</i>
</p>
<p><i>But you were</i> foolish <i>when you were still a man.</i> The Angel grips Elias’s collar and pulls on it, making him choke and his eyes widen. Still, he doesn’t move, doesn’t fight back, does nothing until He releases him again. <i>Oh, you did worship it. Worshipped Me, when I had not even existed yet. But you did not devote yourself fully. You wanted to use your god to escape the thing you feared most.</i></p>
<p>A chill runs up Elias’s spine, despite the heat of The Angel surrounding him. He remembers fearing death, even when he had figured out how to gut his eyes out of his head, to replace another’s with his own and carry on his consciousness from there. Even though he had done it several times before this, he had always feared it would go wrong in some way: that the person’s consciousness wouldn’t be fully locked away, that he wouldn’t set his eyes in them properly, that the person wasn’t as forgotten and alone as he had thought and their loved ones would ask questions about their sudden change in personality.</p>
<p>
  <i>You didn’t even consider whether or not you would be rewarded for your full dedication, for submitting completely to the Beholding. Why, servant? What were you so afraid of?</i>
</p>
<p>Elias Knows exactly what The Angel expects him to say, and he delivers. He wouldn’t dream of upsetting this beautiful creature. “I was scared, My Lord,” he replies. “I didn’t Know what would happen if I did. To trust something I had no knowledge of...it didn’t seem right to give myself to You fully. It wasn’t in my nature.” </p>
<p>One of The Angel’s hands moves down to settle in Elias’s hair, and he can feel the poke of sharp nails against his scalp. <i>A rational mortal wouldn’t think to do so. But rational mortals do not deal with creatures like Me. They would be smited otherwise. They cannot give their whole self to Me like you can. Perhaps...it is better that they cannot. There is only so much mercy I can harbor.</i></p>
<p>Elias shudders again, Knowing that out of everyone in the world, he had been picked. He had been spared, been taken into The Angel’s arms to keep for Himself. He can’t think of anything better. </p>
<p><i>You have learned your lesson, however,</i> The Angel says. <i>You knew that when I came into being, I was to be worshipped without abandon. You have paid the price for your arrogance that started centuries ago. Whether or not you truly helped to bring Me here, you Knew how to treat Me.</i></p>
<p>Elias sighs, leaning into The Angel’s touch. The burning sensation on his back grows dull, pleasantly warm. He feels connected to Him now more than ever, and he feels something being attached to his collar. When he opens his eyes, The Angel has attached a leather leash to it, wound around one of His arms.</p>
<p><i>Rest now, servant.</i> The hand in Elias’s hair starts petting him, and he melts into it. He can’t imagine doing anything else.</p>
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